Parenting in a 'virtual world'

Facebook friends, Twitter followers, fellow gamers on X-box live and Playstation 3. Kids have more ways to connect online than ever before. But where can parents draw the line between their children's virtual worlds, and reality.

Annie Smolinski shares a common concern among parents - raising a teenager in a digital age, balancing her daughter's virtual world with the real world.

"We didn`t have computers in our home when I was a teenager, let alone texting," said Smolinski. "We`ve had limits with her for media since she was a toddler and so we do have limits and we started out with limits."

While the playground might be new experts say the age-old challenge of staying a step ahead of your kids is pretty familiar.


"Adolescents found ways to communicate with their peers even when they weren`t at home so in some ways it isn`t as different as it might feel ," said Professor Laura Dehaan. "What`s unique about Facebook and other forms of social media, you can be a little bit more deceptive in the way you present yourself. And that has the potential for good and for bad."

According to the national center for missing and exploited children, nearly one third of teenagers who use the internet said they've experienced online harassment; turning a virtual friend into a real threat.

"There`s a potential for more bullying, for more pain," said Dehaan. "Some of the issues adolescents have always faced can be felt more intensely through Facebook."

So what's a parent to do if your child has more virtual friends than real? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

"I think it`s really important as a parent to have a Facebook page," said Smolinski.

"Adolescents need to know this is not a private communication that everything every picture every text is available, people can find ways to get at it," said Dehaan.

"Let the kids know you are computer savvy because sometimes kids are good at hiding what`s going on," explained Professor Scott Stehouwer.

From there experts say it's all about balance and compromise.

"You get to do what you wanna do, that is get in a virtual world after you do what you gotta do, that could be homework interact, like being involved in other things," said Stehouwer.

"Also I think it`s really good to have the computer in the family room where everybody is not in the bedroom, so you can see what`s going on," said Smolinski.

And if your child is shy and has trouble developing friends in the real-world don't be afraid to ask for help.

"There are lot of school social workers that work with kids on socialization groups, developing friendships, how to do that," said Stehouwer. "The virtual world is a rather easy world. You can turn it off, you can turn it on and you can be a whole lot of different things."

With the right precautions psychologists say that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes even virtual friends can be there for one another.

"Through a test or track meet, death of a grandparent, so it can also be a community where you get a lot of support very quickly and that`s very positive for adolescents," explained Dehaan.

"It`s our role as parents to be in the driver’s seat and give them a voice. Yet we`re still in charge while they are in our house," concluded Smolinski